Growing Apart

After Marie's announcement, I didn't think any more surprises were in store for me that week. I was wrong; lo and behold, come Thursday evening, I had a missed call from Bryan. 

Interesting, I think. A missed call, not a text. I've almost forgotten how to talk on the phone to guys I may be interested in! 

I call him back right after work, as I'm sitting in my car in the parking lot. When he answers, I'd be lying if I said my stomach didn't do a little flip in excitement.

"Hi," I say. "It's Ryan."

"Hey!" I can hear his smile in his voice, and for some reason that calms me. "How was your day?"

"Not terrible. It's over now, so I'm ready to go home and eat!"

Bryan laughs. "That's the best way I can think of to spend the evening." He pauses for a second. "So I was thinking that I'd like to see you again. I had fun meeting you the other night."

While he's talking, I get a little bit of a sinking feeling in my stomach. While I'd liked talking with Bryan, I almost hadn't expected him to contact me again. It's been almost a week since our first date, if you can call it that, and after the first few days I didn't expect him to call. But now that he's on the phone with me, I don't know how to feel. 

"Maybe we could go out to basil?" He suggests. Basil is an amazing Thai place, and I can feel my mouth start to water. 

"That sounds amazing," I hear myself say. 

"I can pick you up," he offers. 

"Actually, I'd rather walk. It's a beautiful night." I may have met Bryan in person last week, but he still could be a serial killer or a weirdo. Second dates are still all about solo transportation. 

Bryan doesn't seem bothered. "Sounds good. I'll see you at 7:30?"

"7:30," I repeat. 

We hang up, and I try not to think about it the whole way home. I'm hoping Emma will be at the apartment so I can talk with her about it. We haven't seen each other for more than a few minutes in weeks--our schedules usually don't match up, and she's been with DJ a lot recently. I do miss her, though, and sometimes it feels like I'm living alone. 

I don't get my wish. The apartment is empty and eerily quiet. Emma left the light on in our shared bathroom, and I walk in. Her makeup, as usual, is strewn all over the counter. We have limited space, so I barely have room for my toothbrush. This used to bother me, back when Emma and I were roommates in college, but now looking at her blush covering the counter with pink powder makes me ache. I miss my best friend. 

Turning off the light in our bathroom, I go to my room and half-heartedly pick out an outfit. A dress, because it's an easy choice and I know it looks good on me. I don't even put it on--I just flop face-first on my bed. 

This second date has been weighing on my mind a little. How am I supposed to start dating again if I still think about Cam sometimes? A few first dates wouldn't kill me, because who doesn't like knowing they're attractive? But what if this thing with Bryan becomes more than just a few dates? I'm not sure if I'm ready for any kind of commitment. 

Then again, maybe I'm being stupid. I can't torture myself by thinking so far in the future. Who knows! Maybe Bryan will stand me up tonight. Maybe we'll have horrible conversation and the first date was a fluke. I can't plan out what will happen, so I might as well suck it up and go. It's not like I have Emma to hang out with right, anyway, I think sullenly. 

I don't even know her work schedule anymore. The thought saddens me, since I used to know every nuance in her schedule. 

Just as I think that, the door to my apartment opens. I sit up quickly; it's Emma! 

I practically jump out of bed and rush to the front door. It's Emma all right. She sees me and grins. 

"Where's the fire?"

I laugh. I feel like I should hug her. "I'm just excited! I haven't seen you in days!"

"I know!" Emma runs her fingers through her hair, and I notice she's cut it. It's subtle, but I'm shocked I didn't notice it earlier. 

"When did you get your hair cut?" I ask.

She shrugs. "Just a few days ago. It was just a trim, but it feels so short!"

I feel guilty for not noticing, but then I remember that I haven't seen her in days. "It looks great," I tell her. Suddenly I'm inspired. "Hey, I technically have a date tonight, but it's no big deal and I can probably just reschedule. We could grab some takeout and watch movies tonight if you--" Before I can finish my sentence, the front door opens again. I know who it is before I see him. 

"Ready?" DJ's smiling face pokes through the door. He spots me. "Oh hey Ryan." 

I force a grin. "Hey. Date night?"

Emma's walking to her bedroom. "Yeah!" She shouts from her closet. She emerges a few seconds later in a new outfit. I recognize the necklace she's wearing as mine, but don't say anything. Emma turns to me. "DJ and I have already had this planned. Let's hang out this weekend though! I feel like I haven't seen you in ages!"

And with that flippant statement, she's out the door. I barely saw her for three minutes. For some reason, this whole situation makes me want to cry. It shouldn't be a big deal. We're both busy, and I can't expect to spend every waking minute with Emma. Still, it feels a little like rejection. 

I let myself be hurt for a few minutes, and then I straighten up and change into my dress. I have a date tonight, too.