Meddling

I try calling Bryan once, twice, three times when finally someone picks up. 

"Thank god--" I start, when a female voice interrupts me. 

"Ryan?" I don't recognize the voice. 

"...yes?"

"This is Bryan's mother. Sandy." She takes a breath. "Bryan is still asleep."

I don't understand. "Could he call me when he wakes up? I want to make sure he's okay."

"Look, Ryan..." She seems exasperated but then changes her tone. "I'll have him call you when he can." She hangs up without another word. 

I look at my phone, puzzled. What was that all about?

I'm still sore and a little in shock. Even though it's a weekend, I've called Kent at work to let him know of the situation. I only reached his voicemail, but I'm sure he'll be understanding. 

I plop down on the sofa next to Emma. She looks at me sideways. 

"Any luck?"

I shake my head. "His mom finally picked up. She seemed... weird somehow, though. Like she was hiding something."

"Well I'm sure she's a little traumatized." She pauses. "He almost really hurt you, Ryan."

"And now he's really hurt himself!"

"The nurse said he'd be okay," Emma says, trying to reassure me. 

"Then why wasn't I allowed in his room to see him when we left the hospital?"

Emma didn't have an answer to that. It was an odd situation. I'd gone past his hospital room as we were leaving and the curtains were drawn, the door locked. As I was knocking, a nurse saw Emma and I standing at the door and ushered us away with words similar to Bryan's mother's. "He's asleep."

I shake my head, trying to forget about it. I dont know how to feel. Guilt has been plaguing me nonstop since I woke up myself. This whole accident could have been avoided if I'd done something. Not wanted to go on the ride. Said something once I'd seen the other driver getting dangerously close. 

I'd voiced these concerns to Emma on the way home, and she'd told me I was on shock and shouldn't blame myself. 

"You two are lucky," she'd told me a million times. I knew that, but I still can't get a nagging worry out of my head. 

Emma interrupts my thoughts. "So," she says hesitantly. "Have you heard from Cam?"

I shake my head. "No..." I say slowly. The whole situation was so bizarre to me. Why had Cam of all people been there when I woke up? Why had Emma even called him in the first place? "Should I call him? Send him a text? He may have been there at the hospital, but he still broke up with me."

Emma shrugs. "Still, he deserves some credit for being there, right?"

"So I'll write him a thank you card," I say, irritated. 

"I just think he may deserve a call." She's being oddly protective of Cam. 

"You're the one who deserves everything, Em. You called him and told him to come! Although," I add, "I don't know why." I know I'm headed down dangerous territory; Emma's and my relationship is still rocky. While our friendship is currently stable due to my accident--it feels wrong to even think that something good could come from something so horrific--I know we could fight at any second. I try to choose my words carefully. "I'm not sure I'm one hundred percent over Cam yet, Emma. You saw how much he hurt me. I appreciate you wanting to help me but... why did you call him?" 

As I'm talking, Emma pulls her knees up so her legs are against her chest and rests her chin on her knees. I recognize this posture immediately--it's what she does when she's embarrassed or about to admit something she did wrong. I wait for her to respond. 

"He was already here," she blurts. 

I can't process what she says at first. "What?" 

"Cam. He was already here when I got home."

I still have no idea what's going on, and my first instinct is to assume the worst. I try to calm down a little, knowing that yelling wouldn't solve a thing. I take a deep inhale instead. "Why was he here?"

So Emma explains that Cam had been texting her, asking to see me again. "He couldn't understand why you never texted him back... I think he was starting to regret the breakup and how it happened." She's still curled up, her voice a little muffled. "I decided to give him a chance. He was coming over so we could talk about you."

I'm not sure if I should feel betrayed, insulted, or relieved. Part of me is giddy that he wants to talk to me again--that he feels guilty for what he did. Another part of me quickly squashes that excitement. 

"You should have told me," I say, my voice cold. "You saw how upset I was when we broke up. I didn't want to talk to him then, and I don't know. But of course he's the one I see him first thing when I wake up in the hospital?" I shake my head. "I just don't understand."

I expect Emma to fight back, but she doesn't. Her voice sounds pleading. "I wasn't trying to hurt you. I just thought you might want closure." 

"I have closure," I say rudely. Even as the words leave my mouth, though, I think about how desperately I've wanted one last conversation with Cam. Maybe I should give h a call. One last chance to say goodbye. 

Emma and I don't speak for a while. She can obviously sense how uncertain I am, and I'm surprised she doesn't tell me to give him a chance. Instead she unfolds her legs and scoots closer to me. 

"I'm sorry that I did that. Went behind your back to talk with Cam." She laughs shakily. "DJ didn't like it either, if it makes you feel better."

I sit up a little straighter. "Why not?"

"He thinks I'm meddling. Plus... I don't know, but he gets jealous really easily."

I don't know what to say. I barely know DJ, and I have so much on my mind already. I'm thankful when my phone starts buzzing--I need the distraction. Too much has happened in the last forty eight hours. 

My heart skips a little when I see it's Bryan calling. I answer quickly. "Hello? Hello?" My voice sounds high pitched and anxious. 

It's Bryan's mother who greets me, and my heart sinks when I hear the tremor in her voice. "Bryan isn't doing so well," she says slowly. "His leg is worse than expected." I think back to the nurse telling me about his broken bones. She made it sound almost trivial then, but now I know that's not the case. "He's in a medical coma, and will be for the next ten hours. He has to go into surgery." Her voice is shaky. "Now."