Some Updates

Hi everyone! I just have a few things to say quickly. First and foremost, I have been on vacation for a week and will be home next Saturday. I didn't anticipate that I'd be charged (ridiculous amounts) for wifi, which is why I haven't posted in a week. I'll be back after I return from my vacation! Thanks so much for your patience! 

Second, I just want to say thank you to everyone who reads, and also to those who comment. I read every single comment and while I don't always respond for fear of scaring people away by saying "thank you so much!!!" too often, I appreciate all of your positive feedback. Some days I think no one reads what I write, so when I get comments, I smile every single time. So thank you for that. Really! You guys are the best. 

Third-- I see some of you don't know what tinder is, so I'll try to explain it quickly! Essentially, it's a dating app. You select an age range and gender, and the app generates people in those categories in your area! So if you want to see men in your area from ages 24-29, tinder shows you their profiles, one at a time. You're shown a few pictures of someone, their age, and a small description if the person has chosen to write one. Tinder takes the photos and the description from Facebook, but you can edit those things on the app. Once you're shown a profile, you can either swipe right for yes or left for no. If you swipe left, that's basically saying you aren't interested, but the nice thing is that the other person doesn't know you said no. You're only notified if someone swipes right! Then, tinder alerts you and says you have a match, and you can message that person or they can message you. No private info is out there-- no phone numbers, no email, and no last names, even. If someone wants to meet up, they'll have to ask for that information. It's very secure. 

So there you have it. I hope my explanation wasn't too convoluted! If so, just google it :) I'm sure others have written more detailed explanations! I just wanted to clear up some confusion. 

Anyway, thanks again for reading, everyone. I'll see you in a week!! 

- Alexis 

Tinderella

I come home from work on Friday evening and am suspended to see Emma at the kitchen counter. She usually works Friday nights and has left by the time I get off work. 

"Hey," I say when she doesn't look up at first. 

"Hey," she responds absentmindedly. I notice she's on her phone. I put my purse down on the counter next to her and start to take my heels off. 

"Not working tonight?"

"Nah." Emma shakes her head, still looking down at her phone. "DJ and I called off together and we're going on a date."

I laugh a little. "You're the manager, so you called him off?"

She smiles. "There are perks to being manager, yes." Finally she looks up at me. "I feel like I haven't seen you in ages."

It's true. The last time we spent any significant time together was when I was crying over Cam. Not my shining moment, I'll admit. Recently I've been spending a lot of time with Marie and Kolby, and while that's fun, I miss my best friend. 

"We should do a movie day or something," I suggest. "Or a girly spa day. I feel like I haven't seen you in weeks."

"We work different schedules," Emma says with a shrug. I frown. 

"Yeah, I guess so. Just let me know when you're off soon."

"Okay." Emma picks up her phone and starts walking to her room. "DJ will be here soon. I'm going to get ready!"

"Do you want me to do your hair?" I call after her. 

"No thanks!"

I'm left feeling a little dejected. Maybe I'm sensitive, but I do miss Emma. 

An hour later she's gone and I'm all alone on a Friday night. That's when I decide to download Tinder. 

Okay, so I've been single for less than a month. I'm not really ready for a serious relationship and probably won't be for any time too soon. I'm definitely not over Cam, and I'd be lying if I said I hadn't read his last text to me over and over. He'd never responded to my text, as I'd suspected, but I still sometimes read out last conversations. Maybe I'm not ready to go to a bar and hit on every semi attractive male in sight, but swiping left and right seems simple enough. 

And addicting. I download the app and after fifteen minutes, I'm hooked. It seems like one of those old Hot or Not games on facebook, except somehow more private. No feelings get hurt on Tinder. 

I also quickly discover how gross some people can be. Pickup lines are common, and I soon collect everything from "hey tinderella" to "sit on my face plz." Ew. 

After a slew of hipster-esque guys in urban outfitters and holding craft beers, I finally get bored. I'm about to end my Tinder binge when I see I have a new message. I open it hesitantly, expecting yet another "titties or gtfo" message, but no. It's from a guy named Bryan that I vaguely remember swiping right to. He's written: "hey! Just wanted to say that I like your bio. I've been scrolling for a while and haven't found anyone with an appreciation for Dr. Seuss yet."

My bio? I don't remember editing my bio. After a quick check I realize it's my Facebook bio from when I was in high school-- a Dr. Seuss quote indeed, from One Fish Two Fish Red Fish Blue Fish. I laugh aloud. I should be embarrassed, but I'm intrigued. 

"Thanks!" I write back. "Can't go wrong with a few rhymes. I honestly had forgotten that was my bio."

Bryan writes back immediately. We have a short conversation, one that I'm surprised to discover that I'm enjoying. He seems witty yet kind, and it's been half an hour before I know it. 

Just as I'm wondering if I should take the leap and ask him out, Bryan suggests we grab coffee. I can't help it--once we work out the details and I give him my number, I squeal excitedly. Okay, so it's a Tinder date. And there's no way to tell if he's a psychopath. But then again, anyone you talk to or date could be a psychopath, and it's not so different than finding some dude at the bar. At least I can assume that Bryan wasn't chugging tequila sunrises as he messaged me. 

He texts me quickly to confirm it's my number, and I smile a little. We decide on Sunday, and I'm already a little excited and nervous. It may not be the most romantic way of meeting someone, but who knows? I could use a little casual dating. 

Closure

"What?!" I ask. I think I'm in shock, and I try to process what Kolby has just said. 

I'd asked her to lunch to discuss Marie. This time, I'm absolutely sure we should tell her about Liam's affair without a doubt. It's just not fair to keep her in the dark, especially with something that concerns her so much and us not at all. 

However, Kolby had some news of her own and it had completely derailed the conversation I'd had planned in my head. 

"It's pretty simple," she said with a laugh, ready to explain again. "I'm going to be a housewife!"

"Kolby, you aren't married," I splutter, still taken aback 

She shrugs. "So? I saw an opportunity and I took it! I've met the guy and he seems perfectly normal, really." Seeing the look on my face, she continues. "He's an attorney and he works more than sixty hours a week. I'd have my own room and bathroom and we would hardly have to interact. All I'd have to do is clean up and occasionally cook for the guy. And then I get rent free! I don't see why that isn't a great idea."

I stare at her from across the table, my pulled pork sandwich forgotten. "So you found an ad for a housewife on craigslist and decided to meet up with this guy alone? Without telling anyone?" I always knew Kolby was a free spirit and tough cookie, but stupid? I'd never have guessed. "Kolb, you could have been killed," I say in a low voice. "Didn't you think this through at all?"

With a toss of the hair that would make Scarlett O'hara proud, Kolby glares at me. "I didn't expect you to be so mean," she says. 

"I'm not being mean!" I protest. "Just reasonable. And protective. Kolby, Craigslist can be sketchy. And people can lie. Maybe he said he was an attorney in his late twenties but maybe he's actually a sixty year old with a fetish. Or maybe," I realize with horror, "he knows you from your radio show and has been waiting for this to happen."

Kolby rolls her eyes. "Now you're getting paranoid," she says. 

"Better paranoid than stupid," I say firmly. 

"Fine," Kolby retorts, "but like it or not, I'm doing it. I have the extra time, and I kinda even enjoy cleaning. Is that so wrong?"

"Kolby," I say, starting to get frustrated, "it's not that I have a problem with homemakers. I just think this could be a potentially bad situation."

Really, how could I not be worried? One of my best friends is looking for apartments and stumbles upon an ad for free room and board for a homemaker, and I'm not supposed to find it creepy and a little dangerous? 

"I already told him yes. We agreed to the terms: I'd keep the place clean and cool three dinners a week. I have to bring my own furniture and pay for my own grocers, minus what I use to cook dinner for us."  

It sounds absolutely batshit insane, but when I hear this, I give up. "Fine," I say, "but I'm keeping an eye on you. If anything weird happens, let me know."  

"Okay, okay," Kolby concedes. And with that, I come to terms with the fact that one of my best friends is about to move out of her perfectly fine apartment to live with a busy attorney she's never met and wait on him hand and foot. Or at least that's what it sounds like to me. "Lighten up," Kolby says gently, seeing my face. "It'll be an adventure." I sigh. "So what did you really bring me here to talk about?" 

I hesitate and then say, "We need to tell Marie about Liam's cheating." 

Kolby sips her drink. She's quiet for a moment. "I think you're right," she finally says. 

I can't explain how relieved that made me. I was expecting a fight, honestly, and after all of this homemaking and moving business, I wasn't sure if I was ready for more drama. 

"I just feel like we can't play God any longer," I explain. "It's a fucked up situation, but we need to tell her. Maybe it'll help her heal," I add. 

Kolby's nodding. "I've been having nightmares," she admits quietly. I'm a little surprised she says this, since Kolby seems so cheerful most of the time that I never imagine her as anything but happy. "I keep waking up in a cold sweat, thinking we could have saved her so much grief if we just let her know." She shakes her head as if dispelling a bad dream. "You were right all along." 

I wish I could gloat about being right, but not in this situation. I just want Marie to be happy. 

"How do we do it?" I ask. 

We spend the next twenty figuring out a plan. It's decided that the best way would to get everything we know out in the open, in person. We discuss the photo--the one I snapped of Liam and the blonde in line a few weeks ago. I don't want we to see it.

"Let's tell her I saw them together.  I'll delete the photo right now. It's just not worth it, and then she'll have even more questions." I fish my phone out of my purse. 

Kolby nods. "She might get mad if she sees it. I bet she'll be pretty angry at us no matter what, though." She sighs. "I am not looking forward to this."

"Me neither," I admit. "I love Marie," I say as I search for the photo. "She can be a tough customer, but she's the sweetest angel. I don't want to hurt her." I find the photo and hit the trash can icon. "It's gone forever," I announce. 

Kolby sighs with relief. "Good," she says. She gathers her things. "I have to go," she says. "Thanks for being so understanding."

I look up at her in disbelief. "Kolb, I was anything but understanding."

She shrugs. "Yeah, okay. But I'm going to do it anyway and we both knew that. I'm just glad you're the voice of reason so I don't have to be." She grins and I groan. 

"See ya," I say. As soon as she's gone, I reach for my phone to put it away. That's when I see it's lighted up, and with a text... From Cam. 

"I've been thinking a lot about how everything ended and I think we should get together and talk sometime," it reads. That's all. After almost two weeks, this is all I've heard from him. I'm almost in shock. What do I do? 

I'm the kind of person who craves closure, and maybe meeting up with Cam would offer just that. Maybe it would help me get over him. Or maybe it wouldn't. Maybe it would make me miss him more. Maybe I'd grovel. I could never be sure how'd I react til I saw him. 

I want to say yes. It had been a hard two weeks, and I miss him. I miss him so much that my eyes well up for a secnd. Pushing the tears back, I type back, "I don't think that's a good idea." I know it's the right thing to do, but it hurts. Sometimes I don't miss him at all, but other times I get out my phone to text him something and only then realize we're broken up. Meeting up would only hurt me more. 

I sigh and sign my credit card slip, adding up the tip. After a few moments, he hasn't texted back. I don't think he ever will.

Now more than ever, it feels like the end for Cam and I. Maybe this is closure.