Lover-Partner-Boyfriend

            I’m just opening my sad ham and cheese sandwich at lunchtime on Friday when my phone buzzes loudly.  Usually it’s on silent so I quickly grab it to adjust the settings when I see the text is from Cam.  Come outside, it says.

            Puzzled, I set my sandwich down and dash out to the front of the building.  Caroline, the intern, is at her desk, doodling. 

            “Are the doors locked?” I ask. 

            She looks up at me.  “No,” she says.  “They never are.”  Then, making herself slightly taller—difficult with her petite frame—she adds, “but anyone who comes in here has to get through me.”  I laugh.  

            Lo and behold, Cam stands outside the front doors to my office.  I rush over to let him in.  “It’s open,” I laugh when he comes on.

            “Maybe I didn’t want to walk around your office like a psychopath,” he says, and then hugs me.  “Hey there.”

            I push my head into his shoulder.  “Hi,” I say, my voice muffled.  I look up at him.  “Are you on lunch break?”

            “I am indeed.  I thought we could go out?”

            Smiling, I nod like a maniac.  “Yes yes yes!  I was starting to get worried that my ham sandwich would poison me.” 

            “How do you mess up a ham sandwich?” Cam teases. 

            I shrug and grab his hand.  “I’m just being ridiculous.  What I’m trying to say is screw you ham sandwich, hellooooo sushi!”

            Just then I hear heels clicking down the tile flooring of the entryway, followed by Abby, her fiancé in tow.  They look like they should be in a magazine—Abby’s hair is perfectly blown out, her blazer tossed whimsically over one shoulder.  Her fiancé, Mark, is equally well-dressed.  I wonder if being engaged improves quality of life in general. 

            Abby spots me immediately.  “Hi Ryan!  Is this your man?!”

            Wow, Abby does not mess around.  I turn to Cam, smiling, glad we’re holding hands.  “This is Cam,” I offer. 

            By now they’re right next to us.  Mark shakes Cam’s hand and introductions are made.  We chitchat idly for a few moments until both parties realize we’re going out for lunch. 

            “Why don’t we just go together?” Abby suggests.  “It could be fun!  We’ll go somewhere fast.”

            Cam agrees easily, and I have to say I’m a little surprised.  I’m glad he didn’t think our mid-day “date” would be ruined. 

            We decide upon sushi, with much prodding from me—hey, the heart wants what the heart wants!  Somehow, once we get to the restaurant, Cam and I are seated next to each other and Abby and Mark are facing us.  I glance at Cam and we both laugh a little.  Meanwhile, Abby and Mark are blatantly holding hands.  It’s very sweet. 

            The two of them opt to share a roll, while Cam and I order two separate rolls.  At first, Abby and I chat about work, but it’s obvious that we’re leaving Cam and Mark out of the conversation, so we switch topics.  Mark chimes in.

            “You and Ryan seem very close,” he observes, speaking to Cam.  “Have you been together long?”

            Cam shrugs.  “We’ve known each other for a long time, actually,” he tells him.  He smiles at me and gives my shoulder a quick squeeze.  “Ryan’s a great girl.”

            “She is,” Abby agrees.  I feel an unexpected blush coming on. 

            “Cam’s pretty awesome too,” I tell them.  “We have a good time together.”  Suddenly I feel like I’m talking to my parents, trying to convince them to like my biker boyfriend with a zillion tattoos.  “He doesn’t keep me out past midnight,” I joke. 

           

            Cam catches on immediately.  “I always walk on the car-side of the street,” he says.  “I buy her flowers and chocolates.”

            “Almost as much as I buy him flowers and chocolates,” I deadpan.  We glance at each other out of the corners of our eyes and burst into laughter. 

            Abby’s grinning, too, and Mark cracks a smile as well.  Then, he says it: “So are you two planning on getting married?”

            The change in the atmosphere is immediate.  I freeze, and lock eyes with Abby, who has a look of panic on her face.  I know Mark can be a little blunt, but damn.  I honestly have no idea what to say.

            Thank God for Cam.  He grabs my hand and answers.  “Neither of us is actually at that stage in our lives yet.”  And that’s that.  Our food arrives soon after and the conversation lulls while we eat. 

            Luckily, the rest of the meal goes without a hitch.  Mark keeps his mouth shut for the most part and the rest of the bantering is light.  I tell Abby and Mark we’ll get the tip, and they leave, getting the hint. 

            As soon as they’re gone, Cam slides over to the other side of the table so we’re finally facing each other.  I can see his Adam’s apple move up and down a couple times as he swallows, thinking. 

            “So,” he says.

            “So,” I repeat.  “That was awkward.”  We both nod.  “I just want to say thank you.  I was flabbergasted and stunned silent.”

            “There’s a first time for everything,” he jokes quietly. 

             I smile.  “But really, you were great.  That was so uncalled for.  I don’t think he meant it… even Abby looked embarrassed.  He’s just a little forward and maybe he’s caught up in his own engagement.”

            Cam shrugs.  “No big deal.  He seems like a cool dude.”  We look at each other for a few seconds, each of us figuring out what comes next. 

            “I think,” I say slowly, “that we’re perfect where we are.  I don’t feel the need to rush, or even talk about the future.”  Cam is nodding, which encourages me to continue.  “I’m so happy with you, and I think we’re finally getting to a good place…”  I pause and wiggle my eyebrows, “…where I’m trying to trust you and not act crazy.” 

            “I agree completely,” Cam says.  We hold hands from across the table, over the receipt and our empty sushi plates.  My lunch hour is almost over but I’m so content just sitting her, spending time with Cam.  He’s so charming and easy-going, even in awkward and tense situations.

            Because really.  How uncalled-for was that?  It’s way too early for engagement talk!  I just chalk it up to Mark being wrapped up in his own engagement, like I told Cam. 

            “Before we leave,” I say as we stand up, “can I ask you something?”

            “Sure,” Cam says. 

            “Can I call you my boyfriend?”

            Cam laughs and wraps me in his arms, squeezing my shoulders against his chest.  “No!  I’ll only accept the terms ‘partner’ and ‘lover.’”

            “Okay, lover-partner.” 

            After Cam drops me off at my office with a quick kiss, I let myself think about how relieved I am that Cam was cool with all of that.  I’m still embarrassed at the way I acted at the bar towards him, but he’s been so calm and easygoing about my emotions and every strange situation thrown his way that I know I’ve got it good.  Sooner rather than later, I decide, I’m going to find a way to thank him.