Nothing Says Sorry Like Pizza

I wake up the next morning to movement in my bed. No, I didn't take someone home that I'd forgotten about-- it's Kolby. Kolby has a tendency to wake up obscenely early after a night of drinking, and has been this way since our college days. I couldn't even count the number of times I've woken to to her face inches from mine at the crack of dawn. Others might find this terrifying. To me, it's oddly reassuring. 

"Morning Kolb," I say sleepily as I feel her launch herself into my bed. "What time is it?"  

"No idea but I'm wide awake." It's still mostly dark outside, but I can see Kolby's greenish eyes almost glowing. 

"Now I am too," I laugh. She snuggles closer to me and we're quiet for a few minutes. 

"You okay?" Kolby asks. I knew it was coming. She saw the fury and hurt on my face last night, feelings which I still haven't forgotten. They're eating me from the inside out. 

"I'm still not sure," I tell her honestly. "I can't tell if I'm jealous or actually on to something." It wasn't exactly the best impression for Kolby either. She knew Cam in college and I'd really wanted her to forget everything in the past and realize that he's a good guy. 

As soon as I think that I want to smack myself on the forehead. Of course. I'm the one who needs to realize that Cam is a good guy. How many times do I have to tell myself that before I believe it?

Kolby's looking at me expectantly and I realize I trailed off and haven't spoken for a few seconds. I clear my throat. 

"I think I was being a liiiittle crazy," I admit to her. I'm glad it's dark because if it wasn't, I'd be avoiding her gaze. I absolutely despise admitting I'm wrong. "I need to do something," I say. 

I can tell Kolby is smiling. "I wasn't going to say anything, but I felt kinda bad for the poor guy. I knew you were upset but still! Give him the benefit of the doubt."

Rolling my eyes, I say, "thanks for the advice," as sarcastically as possible, but secretly I'm relieved. Hopefully this is the last time I question Cam, his motives, and his intentions. 

Both Kolby and I fall back asleep for a few hours, and we wake up to the sun seeping through the window. We hang out in bed, catching up a little. With Marie's breakup and my whirlwind romance, Kolby's life has seemed almost tame. We talk about her job, her hot boss who never takes off his cowboy hat, and the guys she's been trying to date. 

"What do you mean, 'trying?'" I ask. 

She sighs. "It's hard to explain. I'll go on dates and talk to guys at bars, but it's all so boring and predictable. I swear I've gone on the same date with the same guy ten times. I'm just bored, you know?" 

I'm quiet while she speaks, thinking. "Maybe you could try something different?" I suggest. "Don't get numbers from guys in bars." Suddenly I squint my eyes at her. "Kolb, are you telling me you're looking for something serious?"

She waves her hands and shakes her head. "No! No, not necessarily. But it would be nice to date a guy who actually interests me for a change." 

"Tinder," I suggest. We both giggle. "But really, you're such a funny and intelligent person. If you want to find smart, funny guys, you will! It just might take some time. And there's nothing wrong with online dating, even just for casual dates. Maybe it'll give you confidence that there are good guys out there!"

Kolby looks skeptical, but tells me she'll think about it. "It's just hard when you think you see good relationships around you, like Marie's, and then it ends up not working." Immediately I think of seeing Liam with that girl. If I misjudged the Cam situation, maybe I misjudged what I saw with Liam. I don't want to be a gossip, though, especially with Marie in the next room, so I keep quiet.

Kolby and I make our way to the kitchen, where Emma and Marie are chatting and sipping fresh-brewed coffee. My heart swells and though it's cheesy, I want to hug all three girls. I love having such a close-knit group of friends. 

Of course, we grill Marie about the guy she met at the bar last night, but she's smiling tight-lipped. That's the Marie I know and love: private about her personal life. 

Marie has to leave first, and Kolby goes home soon after. Kolby asks me to keep her updated about Cam, and I tell her loudly to enjoy the tinder dates. She swats at me on her way out. 

It's only when I leave that I notice Emma is wearing jeans. Suspicious. "Nice pants, Em," I say. 

Her response is equally as breezy. "I sleep in them now. Super comfy. You should try it."

"You spent the night at DJ's," I say triumphantly. 

Emma sighs loudly. "I did, yes. But! I didn't get off work til 3:30 AM and his apartment is closer... It was safer, really."  

I clap my hands like a toddler. "I knew it I knew it I knew it! This is true love. I can feel it." Before I can start singing "Can You Feel the Love Tonight," Emma cuts me off. 

"Okay, I get it, master matchmaker." She takes a drunk of coffee. "It doesn't mean anything is happening."

"Not yet!" 

Emma rolls her eyes, but I can tell a smile is just below the surface. She seems happy. 

I finish my coffee and tell Emma I have errands to run. This is only partially true--a Target trip is always in order, but the real reason for my outing is much more nerve-wracking. 

I dress quickly in dark jeans and a striped T shirt. Makeup: BB cream and mascara. I want to look as low key as possible today, but still pretty. 

As soon as I leave the house I call Cam's favorite pizza place. I've got some apologizing to do. 

Forty minutes later I'm at Cam's door feeling lame and slightly creepy. What if this isn't cute but just downright weird? 

Cam answers looking like he's just stepped out of the shower. His hair is still wet and I can smell his soap. I swallow hard. 

"Hi." Before I can lose my courage I continue. "All I want to say is sorry for being a complete douche. I don't know what came over me." I offer him the pizza. "I got this for you." I open the top; it spells "sorry" with pepperoni, but also has green and banana peppers sprinkled on it. Cam's favorite. 

Looking slightly bewildered, Cam takes the pizza. "I'm... Wow. Um, thanks, Ryan."

Blushing, I quickly tell him to call me if he wants. I'm ready to go when he says "wait." 

"I can't eat this by myself," he tells me. I smile, a tiny bit. "Come inside." He's smiling. As I follow Cam into his apartment, he says, "thanks for the pizza. This was kinda weird, but also the best apology I've ever witnessed." 

At that moment, I can't think of a better compliment.